I can text with my tongue
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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