i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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