I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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