I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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