I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can Purell be used as lube?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Randomize
