Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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