do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
