If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
