i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he just fucked me for my cheese.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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