New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
