just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
