okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Houston, we have a squirter
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
