would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
