There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
