Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
please come you make the beer taste better
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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