he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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