Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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