One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
