he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
