Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
