we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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