Your mouth is God's brothel.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
