brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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