But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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