so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
