I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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