I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
