my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize