You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize