I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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