I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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