omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
