Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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