Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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