oh god the rape fog is back!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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