I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
