oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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