But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
