Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
