I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
