you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
