Your tits are I can't wait for
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
