they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
