Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
