If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
