i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You left your phone here
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