I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
