WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
