yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
