We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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