Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
