I have demons in me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
