Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
nutella sex= disaster
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You can't just leave with hair like that
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
