friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
