Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
