There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
