Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
