when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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