I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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