i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
