i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
