No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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