So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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