We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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