My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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