Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
