you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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